happy birthday mary

Today is Mary Elizabeth Killmon's 32nd birthday. I don't think that is true. I think she is actually my age and that she has been lied to for many years. Mary is sick today, but she will still party like a trooper on her birthday. Here is a small list of some of the many reasons I love Mary:

• she is the best roommate ever.
• she pretends to be a rat which never gets old. ever.
• mary loves animals more than anyone i know.
• she is always on time for fun.
• we are similar in our emotional and indecisive ways. (i apologize to everyone else about that)
• her dancing is the funniest thing ever. unless you add kate in which case it is the best time of my life.
• she really loves her son J.J.
• she loves trashy magazines and the internet as much as i do.
• i see her butt every day whether i like it or not. (1. i do like it. 2. i just saw it just now)
• she wears her robe out in public.
• we sing 90% of what we say. (again, this is happening as i am writing)
• she will talk about boys 24/7
• the girl loves biscuits. and butter and chips and coke.
• she is always up for a photo shoot
• she has a pretty sweet collection of tiny animals and things.
• mary is definitely from the country.
• she makes life a lot more fun and interesting.
• she is helping me make up for all the years i have been good.

Happy Birthday Mar-Bear. "Time to get up, Mar. Mar. Time to get up, Mar."

Matthew Charlton Wirt.

(At least I think that's his middle name and how it's spelled). Tuesday, February 20, 2007 marks the 26th birthday of one of my favorite boys. And so begins the first of the birthday shout outs for 2007. Special things about Matt:
• he makes an excellent mix cd, first and foremost.
• he will drunkenly play a banjo for hours. or a guitar.
• he will dutifully walk me home from o'tooles even though it is usually cold and raining and he hates it.
• he enjoys paper and printed things and will totally call me out on my dorky love of those things but only because he understands.
• he will blow you away with his ability to write limericks.
• his house is the nicest house of anyone i know near my age.
• he will always give advice on "matters of the heart".
• his dog rules.
• his digital beards were epic. and his real life beard is pretty good too. (RIP digital beard factory)
• he can improv some classic songs such as "biscuit eatin' woman".
• he always lets me hide out in his office.
• he taught me why you never sleep in someone else's sleeping bag.

Happy Birthday, Matt.

Happy Trash Day.

Well, I'll tell you. I've just had one of the best Valentine's ever. Mary and I decided to have a truly horrific, trashy V-day. It started with us getting crab rangoons at the chinese place next to Food Lion. Then we went to McDonalds. We then sped home and got into our pajamas, put on some entertainment television, and ate that amazing dinner. After that feast, it was time for our photo shoot (see my Flickr). The climax of the evening was watching Lost. The episode was all about Desmond, and for now, he is my main love interest (and Mary's). I wish every night could be like last night. It is seriously for the best that it is not.

I did get a few valentines yesterday. My favorite was from Matt. It was a limerick and it reads as follows: "I'll bet if you had all the power, it'd be Valentine's just for an hour. Without all that fluff, like hearts, chocolates, and stuff. Just knock boots and then hop in the shower". I was speechless. I mean that man just really knows how to get to the heart of me. Shaun gave me a kick ass mix CD with some of the best (worst?) love/sex songs ever, such as "Rumpshaker", and "November Rain". The final highlight of the night was our fortune cookies. I made a big deal about them, thinking they were really going to tell us something insightful. Mine had a message I'll treasure forever- "A nice cake is waiting for you". Well. I sure hope it is.

bunnykins.

We are starting to see kid's Easter portraits rolling in at work. These pictures sometimes have adorable rabbits and chicks in them, too. I thought the other day that I would really like a rabbit for a pet. They are pretty much the cutest things ever, they hop, they have cute ears and noses. They are super soft and look so funny eating carrots. I love them. I might name one something like Bebop or Taxi. But then the reality set in (or was told to me). Evidently they are hard to litter train and have "creamy" pee (ask Mary, not me), chew things, hump cats (again, Mary), and aren't that nice. I was envisioning a pet that would live indoors and be just like a cat, but I don't think it works that way. And I am pretty sure my cat would eat one. If any pet would, my cat would be the one. But I still think bunnies are amazingly adorable and would like to visit someone else's bunny or perhaps a bunny farm. I'm not totally ruling out the idea of one, either. I have faith I could find the one rogue bunny. And by rogue I mean domesticated and placid. And toilet-trained. In the meantime I will enjoy seeing them and petting them as a visitor. It's kind of like babies. I like to hold one every once in a while but I don't want it in my house.

lost.

I love Lost. I am really excited it's back on. Mary is extra-excited beacuse she recently watched all of the episodes up until this point in about 2 months. (She is dedicated.) For the season 3 premier the other night, we celebrated with ice cream. Mary is officially my favorite person to watch the show with because she gets so into it. During the 1st commercial break she was so amped up, she jumped off the couch, ran in place, punched the air, then lept straight up and landed in the splits. (I swear that actually happened.) Usually I only get to see those moves when we're out and she's had a few drinks. Either way, it's the funniest thing I've ever seen. My goal for this season of Lost is to pick my true love on the show. In the running are: Jack (obviously hot, but he can be a little too womanly with the crying), Charlie (he's dirty and a little crazy, so it's easy to see why I like him), and Desmond (he is HOT and he wears those running shorts). I've really got to buckle down and choose. The typical battle is Jack vs. Sawyer. I don't buy into that Sawyer hoopla. Mary has taken the Sayid route. It's torture to wait a week between episodes. But I'd never get anything done if it was on every night.

Chilly in Philly.

Yes, that title rhymes. But don't even pretend you don't know I like words and I have the humor of an 80 year old man. We took a weekend trip up north to Philly to visit Lindsey and Mary's friend Jerome. The City of Brotherly Love is awesome! I heard it was really dirty, but I didn't think it was too bad. It also did not make me hate people in general as I do in NYC. I made a Flickr page with photos from the trip: http://flickr.com/photos/tinyhorse. Lindsey's apartment is really cool. It makes me want to live out of the 'burbs. (By the way, on our side of town in the 'burbs, you still may or may not hear gunfire at 10 pm on a weeknight.) We went to Jerome's Quizzo Bowl, which was hilarious. Quizzo is a bar trivia game with questions, like Trivial Pursuit (which we also played and I am good at). The Quizzo Bowl is the Super Bowl of trivia. We tried our hardest, but came in 5th to last. Out of 40 teams. Ouch. However, any celebrity gossip question, we nailed. And no team was more excited when for the first Daily Double, the question was "What are the names of Britney Spears' kids?". There were burlesque dancers for a halftime show, and Jerome danced like that lady in Flashdance. Leg warmers and all.

We got vegetarian Philly cheese steaks, drove around in Lindsey's van, and I bonded with Erin by sharing her hotel bed. Then we totally pranked Mary with a performance I cannot describe because it will be repeated time and time again for many years to come. We should name it something like "The Penguin Caper". I can't wait to go back to Philly. It was however, the second coldest experience of my life, next to being lost on the streets Boston looking for some stupid record store. Next time I'm in Philly I am totally eating only cheese steaks and I'm gonna go see the Liberty Bell. Or maybe Rocky. Or just the cheese steaks.

trashy.

No doubt I am trashy. Wait until the post-Valentine's Day blog for more on that. However, sometimes I do find decent things in the trash. That sweet lamp I have, the cat, etc. A few weeks ago (sorry I have not been keeping up) Mary and I were enjoying our usual morning commute, and right out front of what we know call "Mothra's House*" there was a couch with a sign that said "Free, Take me". Well, Mary made me make a U-turn and she got out to inspect and sniff the couch. It looked and smelled great, and we were certain it would be gone by the time we got home. (We didn't think we could strap it to the back of the old Corolla.) We made Dave promise he'd help us get it home if if was still there after work. To his dismay, it was waiting for us. We loaded it into the Jeep and bungee corded the back shut. So now we have a sweet couch that does not smell at all. It is kind of an awful hunter green, but we might get a cover for it. The cats love it. Although Pete was posting a bulletin on craigslist about renting a room with a place to crash- cash only, single mothers welcome. I hate to be a tyrant but I am uncomfortable with strangers in the house like that.

Anyway, the next day, I was driving down our street and to my delight, there was another garbage pile of treasures! This time 2 sweet diner chairs and a table. I called Mary (we didn't carpool that day) and told her to check them out. She threw the chairs in her backseat and left the table for some other lucky scavenger. So now we have 2 totally cool chairs. The next day I looked around expecting to see a bag that had a big $ sign on it, but no luck. The magical trash finds were fleeting. But I'll never stop looking. As long as something doesn't smell, I will probably take it home. And even then, sometimes if you leave it on the porch for a few days it's ok.

*Sidenote on "Mothra". "Mothra" is a giant SUV with "MOTHRA" on the license plate, which we laugh at every day. Because we envision it attacking the city. "Mothra" had been gone for a couple days and we didn't mention it to each other, but today it was back, and Mary and I admitted we were relieved.